OK, so the other evening, this Houseful of Girls was discussing the arrival of the new Little Brother. I mentioned that since David was not yet potty trained, they would be blessed with the supreme privilege of helping me with diaper changes. The question was asked, since he's a boy, would putting a diaper on him be any different than on a girl. You know, because boys have "peanuts". I said no, diapers were worn the same way by both boys and girls.
So yesterday, Abbie and I were walking through Target, choosing a few small items to put in a care package we'll be sending to David in China. The store wasn't too busy - just a few old ladies and moms with young children.
"MOMMY, OUR BROTHER IS GOING TO HAVE A PE***!"
Did I mention Abbie's voice could slice through steel, especially when she's discussing something she feels is of extreme importance?
"Ummm, yes, honey, he will, because he's a boy."
I quickly looked around. No one too close to pay much attention. Time to redirect.
"Oh, let's go down this aisle. I need contact solution."
"Y'KNOW, MOMMY, I USED TO THINK IT WAS CALLED A 'PEANUT', BUT THEN HANNAH TOLD ME IT WAS CALLED A 'PE***'!
Yes, honey, I'm sure she set you straight. "Mmm-hmm... Hey, what do you think you'd like to have for lunch today?"
"Can I have some of the chicken noodle casserole from last night?"
"Sure, we have plenty left over!" Huge sigh of relief from me...
"MOMMY, HOW BIG IS DAVID'S PE*** GOING TO BE? WILL IT BE THIS BIG (holding thumb and finger about two inches apart)?"
"Honey, he's a toddler. We'll see when we get him home and change his diapers... Oh, look, I need a new tablecloth..."
"Hey, Mommy, you know how Daddy travels a lot for work?"
Whew - definitely a new topic. "Yes..."
"WELL HOW IS HE GOING TO TEACH DAVID ABOUT HOW TO USE HIS PE*** IF HE'S NOT HOME?"
It's not easy getting out of Target without making eye contact with a single person, but I tried. Where does she come up with this stuff???